Ease And Tension

Ever have one of those days? Where part of you feels one way and another part feels completely different? That's the kind of day I'm having today.

I just returned from vacationing in NM which was wonderful. A new week has begun. Spent time with some gal pals. Seeing clients. Prepping for an upcoming workshop. I feel content. Satisfied. Filled. AND, I'm noticing something else. Not sure if it's low level grade anxiety (uneasiness) or a smidge of depression. Either way, this happens from time to time. This off kilter feeling like I'm in two worlds all at once. It's strange. Feeling both ease and tension, at the same time..

I have observed that when I am not mindful, I can easily fall prey to the Saboteurs lurking around the dark recesses of my mind. The illusions and lies take center stage. If I am not careful, they can sweep me up and take me in a downward spiral. I feel the internal tension. I tell myself, "Be gentle."
Instead of wanting things to be different than they are, there is an awareness of all that's present inside of me. I slow down and make conscious choices, as I move through my day. I come back to my breath. Why? Cause my breath becomes almost nonexistent, especially when I want to escape or run away. So I breathe. Full, deep, complete breaths. I come back to my intention and the truth of who I am in the midst of the whole. I remember home and my connection with God and how I am held in Love.

"Love... it is the highest and vastest freedom. All exists through love." ~The Gospel of Phillip

So remember, when YOU have those off days, when the world seems scary, when you aren't sure how you will make it through whatever situation or challenge you are facing, know all that you are experiencing inside is ok. And it is not uncommon to feel more than one emotion. Acknowledge what’s there. Be curious. Be kind. And give what’s there space and a way to express itself (skillfully) Be present to what is present. ♥️