how i see it

Trying to navigate betrayal on your own is no easy feat—but with the right support, I believe you can find your way through.

YOU’RE HERE BECAUSE…

You feel like you’re in free fall, with no idea when or where you’ll land. You’re overwhelmed by a flood of emotions—confused, hurt, maybe even numb—and the idea of sharing this with a friend or family member is likely a hard “no” in this moment.

This isn’t something you ever asked for, expected, or even imagined. And yet—here you are; and somehow, this is now part of your journey.

You’re here hoping to find someone to help you make sense of this WTF moment in your life.

If any of this resonates, take a breath. You're not alone. And, you're situation is not beyond hope or repair.

The truth about where you are

Your relationship has taken a major hit.
Trust has been broken—and that trust doesn’t repair itself over night or is anything you can just brush past.

You may be tempted to downplay what’s happened:
“It’s not that bad.”
“Other people have been through worse.”

Listen, ignoring this won’t help. Pretending this didn’t happen won’t heal you.

Here’s the truth: Your relationship is no longer stable, and it needs your attention.

WHAT I KNOW – WHAT I BELIEVE

I’ve walked this path. I didn’t learn how to navigate betrayal from a textbook—I lived it.

I know the pain of broken trust in the most intimate relationship one can have. The heartbreak. The confusion. The deep, internal chaos that makes it hard to know which way is up…or down for that matter.

I know all this feels like a nightmare—but it’s not. You’re awake. It’s real.

And yet, I believe that with solid support, the right tools, and a commitment to managing your own healing journey, you can grow through all this.

You can rebuild—yourself, your sense of safety, and your capacity for trust and intimacy.

IS HEALING POSSIBLE FOR EVERYONE?

Honestly, no.
But, I’ve seen what’s possible, when people show up for themselves—fully and courageously.

If you're willing to show up, face the truth, stay curious, do the inner work, and are willing to have your worldview shaken up a bit, you might be surprised at the strength and clarity that rise up in you. You can come through this stronger, more secure, and more YOU than ever before.

WHAT ABOUT MY MARRIAGE?

It’s a common question: Can we survive this? Well, that depends.

If your partner is also willing to show up, do the work, explore their own wounds, and examine their worldview—then yes, something new can be created.

It takes two to heal a relationship. It can’t just be one person doing all the work.

At the same time, this process also requires that you both stay in your own lanes, when it comes to individual healing and recovery. You can’t be in each other’s business all the time. I know that can feel scary, especially if you are the one who experienced the betrayal.

There will be individual work and together work.

Simple? Yes.
Easy? No.
Possible? Absolutely!

WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU GO IT ALONE?

You can try to piece this together on your own. Plenty of people give this option a whirl.

There’s an ocean of information out there: podcasts, YouTube, quick fixes, IG posts, TikTok tips. There’s A LOT out there. And while information is good, it can quickly become overwhelming—and even counterproductive—if that’s all you’re leaning on.

I’ve seen it with clients. I’ve lived it myself.

And reading all the right books won't guarantee healing—especially if you're the only one reading them, and your partner feels like a project you're trying to fix.

Going it alone might get you somewhere. And, it could get you nowhere.

And without support, you might find yourself reeling—over and over again—emotionally drained, stuck in rumination, and unsure what to believe, think, or do, and in what order.

BE CAREFUL WHO YOU TRUST

You could call your insurance company and find a random couple’s therapist. Or, you might seek counsel from your pastor.
However, if you land with someone who isn’t trauma-informed or trained in betrayal recovery, you risk getting hurt again.

Though I support couple’s work, if done too soon, it can make things worse, especially if there’s an active addiction, deception, gaslighting, or denial. In these cases, couple’s therapy WON’T be helpful, in my opinion. This is based on my personal experience and what I have seen and heard from couples who initially chose this route. Also, if the therapist or pastor you choose does not have proper training or a full graps on addiction and/or problematic behaviors, there’s so much that can go wrong.

Many professionals mean well but aren’t equipped to walk with you through this. I’ve seen clients retraumatized because their pain wasn’t understood or respected.

You might also hear, from well meaning individuals, things like:

  • ”It takes two to destroy a marriage.”

  • ”You need to forgive and move on.”

  • ”Don’t dwell on the past, think about the future.”

  • “Maybe if you had just (fill in the blank) he wouldn’t have cheated on you.”

  • ” You just need to pray, and let God handle it.”

  • “Love covers a multitude of sins.”

  • “This too shall pass.”

NONE of these statements are helpful.

What you need is stability, safety, and a clear path through the fallout of betrayal…and people who can safely guide you.

SO WHAT SHOULD YOU DO?

Whether or not you choose to work with me, please find someone who gets it.

  • Choose someone trained in betrayal trauma and relational healing. Don’t be dazzled by credentials alone. Yes, credentials matter—but presence, safety, and understanding matter more.

  • Read their bio. Get a feel for their approach. Listen to how they speak and how they communicate.

  • Know what you value. Do their values align with yours? Do they seem like someone you can trust with your heart?

  • Look for someone who takes time to truly see you—not just your situation.

  • Look for someone who understands the nuance, who respects your story, and who doesn't minimize or pathologize your response to deception and pain.

  • Though talk therapy can help, know that trauma often lives in the body. For this reason, I recommend a healing path that integrates somatic work—whether with one professional or someone who is part of your care team.

Take your time. Trust your gut. Ask questions. And remember - you're interviewing them, not the other way around.

NEXT STEPS?

If you’re ready, here are two steps you might consider:

  1. Schedule a call with me.
     This is a no-pressure consultation. I’ll listen. I’ll get it. And I’ll point you toward something that feels right for you.
     Schedule a call with Dani

  2. Sign up for my newsletter.
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